*read all of the chapters for Swipe Right – The Chronicles of an Unpaid Prostitute in order here

Chapter Three


Following, rather stumbling into this guy’s apartment, I looked around and noticed what I considered a typical bachelor pad – there was a couch that he probably picked up from behind an alley, old plastic crates as side tables, some t shirts that had been strewn about the small living room and two white Styrofoam containers sitting on the coffee table. I twisted my hands in front of me, my buzz slowly disappearing leaving me feeling awkward in a situation I had no idea how to navigate. After turning on some lights casting his apartment in a dim, almost romantic setting, he walked toward me and slowly pulled my jacket from my shoulders. With a warm smile, he told me to have a seat and disappeared into the kitchen before returning with two drinks in hand.

“Vodka water,” he told me, handing the glass to me. I put it to my lips and drank what I’m sure were the only two things he had in his fridge, in one shot. Sitting beside me, he took the empty glass from my hand and put it on the table, placing his beside mine. His knee touched mine and before I could say or do anything, his hand was cupping my jaw and his lips were slammed against mine. I felt myself stiffen, hesitate. But oh how I loved kissing. It didn’t take long for the butterflies to start and I allowed myself to melt into the spell of a great make-out session. He moved to kiss my neck and take off my shirt at the same time. It was a slick move and everything was progressing so quickly I had no time to consider how or why he was so flawless at getting me naked. Pulling me off the couch, he continued to kiss me, to hypnotize me under this new excitement as we stumbled awkwardly down the hall to his bedroom. Pushing me gently onto the mattress, he kneeled in between my legs, pushing my skirt around my hips. Limbs and fingers were tangling with the urge to touch each other. I wanted him just as naked as me and I wanted to explore and kiss and touch and before I could do any of that he’d moved off of me, assumingly to grab a condom and suddenly, shockingly he was inside of me in one hard, rough thrust. My eyes widened at the unexpected intrusion. Well, maybe not unexpected, I was lying on his bed with my skirt around my hips but damn, it wasn’t the Sahara desert down there but it wasn’t the Pacific Ocean either, shit.

So many feelings washed over me and unsure how to react, I closed my eyes and tried to get into it, feeling some stirrings deep in my belly. Was that him doing that or was that me? I knew I needed to help myself out because this man clearly was only focused on himself. Selfish. I wondered if I asked him, if he remembered my name. Did I remember his name? Could be Rob, maybe Ryan. Something with an R. I managed to push myself over the edge at the same time he did. Just barely – a blip on the orgasm scale. With a grunt, he rolled over and left me to pull the blankets warily over myself. With my skirt still bunched around my waist, I couldn’t help but smile – I did it. I actually had sex with a stranger I met in a club. I don’t know why that was an accomplishment, but it was.

“You okay?”

I looked over at his sleepy face and smiled, nodding my head. I had no idea what to say. Did we talk about our dreams, our five-year plans? With no clue as to what happened now, I pulled the blanket up to my neck feeling naked and vulnerable. I wondered when the last time he washed it as I waited for his arm to come around me before we blissfully fell asleep.

He yawned, “Listen, this was fun but I have to get up early tomorrow for work.”

“Oh.” I watched my fantasy fall to shards at my feet. I felt my cheeks flush. “Right, of course. I should go then.”


I could feel my own mortification as I slipped from the bed and pulled my skirt down, scrambling to find my shirt. Seeing a t shirt on the floor, I scooped it up. “I’m taking this.”

He smiled and nodded. I needed to cover up, suddenly and not for the first time, feeling too exposed. He walked me to his door, blissfully naked with no cares in the world, he scratched his chest and kissed my forehead.

Handing me his card, he’d made sure I put it in my purse. “Call me if you ever want to do this again.”

I stared at the card then back to him. “Oh, okay. Cool.” I turned and walked away. David! That was his name. I wasn’t going to call him but I kept his card anyways. I pushed away my embarrassment as I stepped into the elevator. Maybe that was just how it was done.

I walked outside and felt the sway of my hips, the way the night air blew my hair around as I strutted down the street, a new pep in my step. I just got laid. I threw my fist in the air in victory. Then a cab pulled over to the side of the road thinking my fist pump was actually a hail, whatever, I went with it. I jumped into the cab and gave him directions to my apartment. I caught the cab driver looking at me in his rear-view mirror taking in my mini skirt, heels and overly large men’s t shirt. “Whatever you’re thinking right now is probably pretty accurate,” I informed him. I didn’t need his judgement to sour my newly elated disposition. He snorted, averting his attention back to the road. We both enjoyed the silence for the rest of the drive. I so desperately wanted to spill my guts but it was clear the driver had no interest in my promiscuous activities and didn’t want to hear it.

It was after four in the morning as I walked into my apartment. All the lights were off and instead of going to bed, I walked into Jamie’s room. I shook her awake. “I slept with him!” I squealed.

With her eyes still closed, she groaned. “Congratulations, you’re officially a slut.” She held up her hand for a high five which I dutifully reciprocated, grinning like a maniac, before she rolled back over and to sleep. I fell into my own bed and into sleep with a victorious smile on my face.

*tomorrow – Chapter Four

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