*read all of the chapters for Swipe Right – The Chronicles of an Unpaid Prostitute in order here

Chapter Ten


Monday was busy and uneventful at work. I’d started, petal to the metal, on the campaign for my new client. Swanky. Monday night however, was dedicated to Carlos. Carlos who was a liar and came up short in more ways than one. Carlos’ profile said he was 5’11. Carlos was probably 5’7 on a good day. Regardless, he’d chosen a nice restaurant and I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Mistake number two. He’d kept his phone on the table, laughing at whatever text messages were coming through and not bothering to share the humor. I liked humor, everything about me said I liked humor, I was a fucking blast that screamed humor. I also like sharing, something Carlos was too self centered to realize. Too far into it to run, I decided to order one of the martini specials. “You better be careful with that.”

I stared at him, biting the inside of my cheek as the server waited with her pen and paper at the ready. “And why is that?”

“There’s a lot of sugar in those drinks. A lot of alcohol too, maybe you should order a water as well.”

I turned to the patient woman waiting to take our order who now looked horrified. “I’ll take two, hold the water,” I told her with a sickly sweet smile. She laughed silently to herself as she walked away, Carlos too involved in his phone again to realize what was actually going on.

Thirty dreadful minutes later I’d clearly entered some alternate realm as I watched myself, nauseated, nodding when he asked me if I wanted to go back to his place. Maybe Carlos was right about one thing, they did make those martinis strong. Maybe our server felt sorry for me. If that was the case, I would definitely bring terrible dates here more often. Free dranks!

I’d woken up with a pounding headache in a strange bed. Turning to my left I groaned. Damn it. Rationalizing, I told myself it seemed the standard was sleeping with someone on the first date, how the hell else were you supposed to find out if they were the one or not? He wasn’t the one. Carlos woke almost immediately as I shifted. “Morning,” he mumbled.


Rubbing his eyes, he stretched beside me. “What time is it?”

“6 am.”

He yawned. “Breakfast?”

Why the hell not.

The dumpy café was busy and after me, Carlos and his phone sat in silence over plates of eggs and bacon, the bill sat between us on the table. Wiping his mouth with the napkin and throwing it to his side, he cleared his throat. “We going to split it?”

God damn it, Carlos. “No.” I slid out of the booth and grabbed my jacket, walking out of the restaurant and leaving Carlos and his phone behind. Cardinal rule, never sleep over.

Wednesday night was dedicated to Luke. Sexy, sexy Luke. There wasn’t a lot to Luke but his face was positively lickable and his body, there were no words. I’d decided Luke was going to last more than one date. Mostly because Luke was really pretty and because on my date with Luke, I didn’t have to be concerned with talking about today’s news headlines or what party he’d voted for in the last election. Not because we didn’t want to have heavy conversations but because he didn’t know how. We could talk about how much weight he’d bench pressed at the gym and how sexy he thought I was and we were good.

“We’re going to see each other again right?”

“I’ll think about it,” I teased him as he walked me to my door.

“I’ll call you.”

“You better.” I was positively giddy as I ended my date. Luke definitely wasn’t the one, but he was fun. And fun felt great.

Friday night was reserved for Wes. Wes didn’t have a car, so I picked him up – at a gas station. Surprisingly I didn’t feel bad that this was my third date of the week even though I’d received a text from Luke earlier asking what my plans were for this weekend. Luke was hot, but I wasn’t putting all of my eggs in that one sexy basket. I’d done that already and it had bitten me in the ass. Wes was a drinks and a movie date. Luke was pretty, Wes was rugged; tall, dark and handsome type. Wes was a bad boy in a leather jacket and a devilish smile. We sat down for drinks and I found myself enjoying the conversation. He certainly was a talker but he wanted to know about me. We’d talked about everything; I’d told him about where I’d grown up and how I ended up in San Francisco. I’d asked him if he had any upcoming travel plans. It was a question that should have never been voiced. Where the hell was Doc and his time machine when you needed him? That’s when Wes dropped a bomb. “Oh, I can’t travel out of the country.”

I raised my eyebrow. “Okay, why?”  Why did I insist on asking questions? Damn it, Maddie – shut your fricken mouth!

“Well,” he started. And that’s when I learned he was on probation, the official name of the charge – armed robbery of a financial institution.

“So you’re a bank robber.”

“Something like that.”

“And you got caught?” I asked, morbidly curious.

“That time I did,” he told me with a grin that did something to my down under. I didn’t know why, I should have run for the hills, but I couldn’t. I wanted him even more, naturally. We traded in our drinks for the movies, choosing one neither of us were interested in. The theater was empty. I followed him to the back row and as the movie started, I couldn’t think of anything but the growing tension between us. He obviously felt it too as he grabbed my face for a hot and heavy make out session and before I knew it I was in his lap with my pants around my ankles, all classy like. I didn’t give a fuck what it looked like, it was by far and wide, the best sex of my life – and it was in a movie theater. I must have blacked out for a minute, because, god damn. When I came up for air I looked around, I was insanely grateful that we were still alone. If anyone had come in, I wouldn’t have noticed and they would have had a hell of a show along with whatever movie was playing on the screen. I should have been ashamed. I wasn’t, not even a little bit. “Are you alright?” he asked, kissing the back of my neck.

I laughed. “Who knew? This has turned out to be a very surprising evening.”

*tomorrow – Chapter Eleven

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